Goodbye to My Friend

I buried my best friend tonight.

How do you say goodbye to a being who has been with you for just about half your life?

I’m going to miss her terribly. I was a “cat person” until Maya came into my life. Although she wasn’t much bigger than Panda the cat, having a dog was a whole other universe.

To be greeted at the door like you’ve been away for years, when all you did was walk down the driveway and back to get the mail. To have a being who loves you no matter what even when you’ve just done the most stupidest thing.

I have a magnet on my fridge, that has a picture of a Yorkie and it says this:

“May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.”

Even though I’m dogless now, (in fact petless altogether, Panda having passed away  a few years ago) I’m going to keep trying to live up to what I would she would see out of her shining brown eyes.

She was older than the life expectation for her breed, and I think she hung around just to be with me. When she finally decided it was time, I got to hold her, and talk to her and relive all the fun and interesting times we’d had. It was fortunate that she wasn’t ill, or in any pain. Just old and very tired.

I got to say goodbye and I don’t think I’ll ever get over the feeling of her taking her last breath in my arms. I put her to rest under the tree in my front yard, and I can see her from the window, and blow her a kiss when I go to and fro about my way.

I buried my friend tonight, and I’m having a really hard time saying goodbye.