What I’m Thankful For

I’m Thankful that I know this: “Dying is easy. Its Living that’s hard”.
And because I know this, I’m Thankful that my heart still beats, that my lungs still draw breath. That for the most part I have my health, and I’m alive and kicking.

That might seem trite to some who don’t know me. But when you’ve faced the (choice) of either living hard or dying easy: those words are not trite at all.

I judge not those who took the (“easy”) way out. Trust me on this. I’ve closer to that precipice that I like to think. I know the depths of despair that comes along with that choice.

I’m Thankful that Green Is In. That everyone is fighting so hard to show themselves to be the Greenest of the Green. It didn’t used to be that way. You had to go around the mulberry bush to get people to Think Green.

I worked for this company that used to waste endless amounts of paper simply because they allowed tons of spam to come through their fax machines. I got them to stop doing that. Not by appealing to their sense of wrongness about how many trees were being chopped down or whatever. I appealed to their Bottom Line.

I explained to them that it would take perhaps an afternoon of time, limited personel, and I could save them X-amount of money in reams of paper costs per year if they’d let me implement my Plan. Seems silly now, years later that I’d had to go that way in order to things done. I’m Thankful that that has changed.

But I’m also well aware that the Bottom Line still speaks very loudly. Consumers are into the Green Thing, and if your company doesn’t have some aspect of Greenness, then they’ll turn elsewhere. But I’m still Thankful nonetheless.

I’m Thankful that I have people in my life who love me and care for me and are there to support me. The best birthday present I recieved was from my little brother who told me in no uncertain terms: That He Was There For Me. And that He Was Trying To Understand How Things Are For Me. And that he was making sure to verbally Say Those Things.

Is it possible for a heart to burst with love and happiness? Yes it is, because mine did just that when he said those things to me. Its Precious and its Wonderful and I will Treasure that forever.

I’m Thankful that things in the world are so horrible right now. Why? Because sometimes that’s just what it takes. What it takes for us to see things clearly and start to make Changes. Changes for the Better. I’m sorry that it took for things to get to this point, but I’m Thankful for them just the same.

I’m Thankful that I’m no longer scared. I was terrified of so many things. But mostly I was terrified that I would not be able to manage my bipolar. That I would be somehow crippled by it and not be able to live my life as I wanted to. It is an every day thing. Maybe even an every day battle. And that is why my heart burst, because my little brother understood that about me. Some days I lose, some I win. But I’m no longer scared about the process.

I’m Thankful for the soul, my daughter, my companion, my cat. She has no idea that just by being alive and living with me and being herself: how much she helps me. That days or even weeks would go by without me laughing if it wasn’t for her. Laughter Frees The Soul. And ain’t that the truth!

I’m even Thankful for the icky bout of the flu or whatever it was I just went through. Because I found out something. (Maybe I’d better take time out and think and sort through things, instead of having my body force it apon me!) I found out that I have a Voice. I found out that I want to use that Voice. I found out that I want to be Heard. Adding another path to My Life’s Work was a Joyful discovery indeed. Next time I Hope and Pray it won’t take a fever to get me to figure that out ;)

I’m Thankful that I know how to read. I’m Thankful for all the Gifts that authors have given me over the years. I’m Thankful that I now know what the heck to do with those Gifts. I’m Thankful for whatever it was that made one of my earliest memories be the Earnest Desire To Learn How To Read. I’m Thankful for the little girl (Elizabeth?) who helped me. I remember those bumble bee books, and us reading them together.

I’m Thankful that I know how to Write. I’m Thankful that I’m a Wordsmith. I’m Thankful that “I was blind, and now I see.” Those words from the song Amazing Grace. Did you know that song was written by a guy who (finally) saw how wrong slavery in this country was? “Was lost, but now I’m found.” I’ve found something.

I’m Thankful that so many have been (like myself) so recently inspired to start making dramatic Changes for the Better. The journey is going to be long and hard and Will You Be There with me along the path?